Marshy Sawgrass

A new game was invented on the trip to the Everglades. This game was not actually played aloud, or, honestly, even suggested, but it was still invented. Here's how it goes:

First, you get in a rented cherry-red Chrysler. Then you drive from Fort Lauderdale forever and ever to a tiny old fisherman village founded in the 1820s. Then you don't sleep very much and you spend many minutes plotting stealthy pajama-clad runs to the shared bathrooms after midnight because the air travel turned your ankles into innertubes and your bladder to a pea. But you have a very good time and dream about pirate musicals and wake up early and eat only french fries all day long because Floridians do not value the vegan lifestyle unless it means you eat fried seafood.

Fried seafood is, in fact, vegan in any and all costal states south of our nation's capitol.

But this is not the game. This is the preamble that allows the game to really start. The game really starts when you eat your breakfast french fries, pile back into the cherry-red Chrysler, head over to Shark Valley, and start reading the road signs.

The name of the game is: Fictional Archetype or Indigenous Species?

Round one: Marshy Sawgrass

Round two: Skunk Ape

Round three: Cotton Mouth

Yes - these are all technically the latter (indigenous species) but can you imagine the plot lines these names could propel?

"The Sheriff walked into the bar. The music stopped. The cards dropped. But the showgirl's leg stayed lifted high, petticoat pulled back, in mid-air. Across the sawdust floor, the dark stetson hid a face crosshatched with lies. Marshy Sawgrass. The Sheriff walked toward the black hat, straight into a cloud of penny whiskey and smoke."

And who ever said there's nothing to do in the Everglades??