Consider My Kidneys

Interesting day today - and I'm feeling grateful for my current situation. I'm able to support myself working freelance, which is amazing and, at times, nearly unbelievable. I'm able to maintain sobriety, which is amazing and, at times, wholly unbelievable. I'm able to work for a cause I believe in and look ahead to a future I'm actually very excited for. Hopefully all will continue to be sunshine and lollipops.

I was just on the phone with a colleague who was explaining why he can't take effective cold medicine even though he's sick: it's because he donated his kidney to his father, and his body can't process most antibiotics or anti-histamines now that it's gone. After the donation and transplant, his father got cancer and his body rejected the kidney. The father is now in and out of the hospital, and my co-worker, the son, is floored by the flu.

But - here's the kicker - this co-worker has the best attitude in the world.

I've been told you have to take life on life's terms. Not that you have to accept everything horrible, but that, at a certain point, you want to take the measure of a moment and see what you can do. Sometimes the best you can do is breathe and continue.

A woman I once met said she was so sick of "cussin and fussin" at the universe. I don't think blanket tolerance is the answer to the world's many injustices, but neither is internalizing struggle. Hating a situation doesn't change it. Action sometimes can, depending on the situation. But sometimes, like with the kidney, serenity and support supply world's more good than "cussin and fussin" ever could.

Today I nearly had a tantrum when my Gmail froze and my browser wouldn't Force Quit. I was about ready to throw my poor iBook across the room... speaking of an internalized struggle not helping anything.

But then the Gmail started working again and I realized I have both my kidneys. I have my father. I can take Benadryl and, even better, I currently don't need to. I hear so many stories of how bad things can get - but I get to hear these stories from people who have finally found peace. That's an amazing thing. And so I am grateful.